Monthly Archives: May 2018

This The 4 Primary Principles of Communication

Effective communication is a connection between people that allows for the exchange of thoughts, feelings, and ideas, and leads to mutual understanding. This exchange is evidenced when a speaker sends a message to which a listener responds. It seems simple, but it isn’t.

People tend to take the communication process for granted. We generally figure that the communication between two or more people is no big deal. It just works. However, the reality is very different—the process of communication is actually impressively complex.

There are many factors that ultimately determine whether a particular communication experience is likely to be successful or not. There are internal factors that affect each person participating in the communication process individually, interactional factors that affect how information is sent and received between two or more people, and external factors that affect the extent to which the physical environment is conducive to effective communication.

There are also certain principles inherent in the communication process, as well as skills people can learn and practice. When people are aware of these principles and apply this information, they significantly decrease the likelihood of misunderstanding and conflict and increase the chances of successful and skillful communication.

There are four primary principles of communication:

  1. The message sent is not necessarily the message received.
  2. It is impossible to not communicate.
  3. Every message has both content and feeling.
  4. Nonverbal cues are more believable than verbal cues.

The message sent is not necessarily the message received.

We often assume that just because we said something (or thought or intended something) that, when another person doesn’t understand what we mean, it’s their fault. After all, the person who sends the message knows exactly what he or she meant. However, what the person on the receiving end of the message hears and understands may be quite different. In contrast to being anyone’s “fault,” this is simply one of the ways the communication process can go off track.

The message sent may not be the message received because it must pass through a filtering system of thoughts and feelings—for both the sender and the receiver. As a result, when an adult comes home frustrated or angry about his or her workday, he or she may communicateanger or impatience to his or her partner or children, even though that isn’t his or her intent. The message must also pass through the listener’s own filter of thoughts and feelings. If a partner or child expects the sender of the message to be angry or impatient, he or she may hear neutral or even positive statements as harsh or angry.

There is considerable room for misunderstanding between what the speaker intends to say, what he or she actually says, and what the listener hears. The less conscious attention the speaker and/or the listener is paying (the more distracted they are by internal or external stimuli) when the message is sent and the more emotionally charged the subject is, the more likely it is that there will be a disconnect between what the speaker intends to say, what he or she actually says, and what the listener hears.

The only way to be certain that the message you send is the same one the other person receives is through the process of feedback. This is more critical when what your communication is of special importance or you sense from the other person’s reaction—whether verbal or nonverbal—that he or she is unclear.

Checking out the accuracy of your communication involves literally asking what the other person heard you say. If what he or she reports hearing does not match up with what you intended, you can then clarify your message by sharing—specifically—what it was you intended to say. Then you can again ask for feedback, checking out what he or she heard this time. This process may seem cumbersome, but it results in more clear and accurate communication. Sometimes this process may go through two or three rounds to ensure the speaker and listener are on the same page. The more matter-of-fact this process is the more successful it will be.

It is impossible to not communicate.

All actions—both intentional and unintentional—communicate certain messages. For example, deliberately ignoring someone is not “not communicating.” Quite the contrary (as you know if you’ve been on the receiving end), this action sends a strong message. Moreover, verbal communication (the words used) is only one part of the larger communication process that includes body language, facial expression, tone of voice, and voice volume.

Every message has both content and feeling.

Every message consists of content and feeling. The content is what the message is about based on the words used. The feeling connected to the content is expressed through nonverbal cues—body language/gestures, facial expression, tone of voice/inflection, and voice volume.

Whenever there are discrepancies between a message’s content and feeling, confusion is created for the listener—especially if the content and feeling seem to contradict each other. A classic example of this is when one person tells another “I’m not mad at you” (the content) in a loud angry voice (the tone of voice/feeling). Such communication cannot help but result in a certain degree of confusion.

Electronic communication—via email, text, and other forms of instant messaging—can be so challenging and easily misinterpreted precisely because the words used are isolated from any and all of the nonverbal cues that provide essential information and clarification.

Nonverbal cues are more believable than verbal cues.

Whenever there is a discrepancy between the content (verbal) and feeling (nonverbal) of a message, the person on the receiving end will almost always give more weight to the feeling. In other words, if the words a speaker uses don’t match up with his or her tone of voice, facial expression, body language, and other nonverbal cues, the listener will pay more attention to and believe the nonverbal behavior.

Consider how you react when someone gives you what sounds like a compliment: “You look great”, but with a tone of voice that you perceive as sarcastic. Are you more likely to believe the verbal (words used/content) or the nonverbal (tone of voice/feeling)?

These four qualities of the communication process are universal—whether the topic is the post-election political economy, Valentine’s Day planning, or simple sharing of the events of one’s day with others. Paying conscious attention to these four aspects of the communication process—regardless of whether you are on the sending or receiving end—will improve the quality of your communication by making it more skillful, effective, and successful.

Info What is true Friendship

What is true Friendship?

Friendship is one of the many pivotal relationships our life circles around. Friends form the important part of our day-to-day lives, and influence us to extents much beyond our common perception. Though friendship sounds so Universal, some of us do find the concept to be pretty alien. The reason could be anything – incompatibility, withdrawn attitude, doubts, insecurity, you name it!

Mentioned below are few tips with reference to key areas we tend to overlook in any relationship, let alone friendship. I want to clarify here that these are not steadfast rules of some kind… Consider them simple ‘art of living tips’ on relationships.

Tip-off #1
Be your own friend.
Yes, you gotta be your own best pal. This is the first and most important step. You don’t do this right, then you screw the whole process! You have to love yourself and treat yourself the way you want others to treat you. Adore and appreciate yourself for all possible amazing things you can think about yourself.

Tip-off #2
In friendship, what matters most is not what you get, but what you give.
Don’t get caught up focusing on what your friends do for you and don’t. Pay attention to what you give to the relationship. All you gotta do is, do your part and do it good. Your duty is YOU and not your friends.

Tip-off #3
Loving selflessly and generously NEVER hurts.
Don’t be afraid to give love. Many people have tough time with their relationships because they are intimidated by the very thought of loving generously. The reason why love so intimidating is because of the possible chance of love not being reciprocated. Okay, let me make two things clear:

One, Love is not a limited source! You have enough love to give for every living soul! Love is infinite! So give your love with no fear. It’s not gonna cost you anything and it comes with tons of personal benefits

So go for it. Love.
And second, reciprocation is not everything. As I mentioned earlier, you do your part and the rest, leave it to your friend, it’s not your problem.

Tip-off #4
The nicest of things that your friends have done for you weighs much more than their actions that hurt you.
Okay, face it, we all make mistakes and disappoint people we love. So when your friend does something wrong or hurts you by any means, don’t cling to it. Let go. But hold on to the good stuff… forever!
An After Thought
Being selfless, doesn’t mean letting people exploit your kindness. Lavish love, don’t squander it. Watch your back.

By-Akansha Kumari, Quora

Best Friendship Quotes

“We’ll be friends until forever, just you wait and see.”

– A. A. Milne

“I’ll tell you a big secret, my friend. Don’t wait for the Last Judgment. It takes place every day.” – Albert Camus

“How can sincerity be a condition of friendship? A taste for truth at any cost is a passion which spares nothing.”

– Albert Camus

“Who ne’er knew joy but friendship might divide, Or gave his father griefbut when he died.” – Alexander Pope

“True friendship’s laws are by this rule express’d, Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest.” – Alexander Pope

“No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow.” – Alice Walker

“I cannot concentrate all my friendship on any single one of my friends because no one is complete enough in himself.” – Anaïs Nin

For You Great First Date Ideas and Tips

Most guys make big mistakes when it comes to dating. This is because they fail to understand it is not so many great ideas to implement during their first date. One of which is that it is not necessary for your first date to be expensive. As a matter of fact, your date will be absolutely unimpressed if you try to captivate her with sumptuous gifts, dinners and entertainment forays.

First date is always full of expectation; it is where many people share their emotions about love. First impression they say lasts long. The way you comport yourself on your first date will last long in the heart of your partner.

Therefore in order to make a decent impression on your first date it is quite essential that you should mix the whole things effectively: the venue, the looks, the accessories and the attitude. These are some great first dates thoughts.

The primary motive of your first date is to know each other better. It is not vital to make your first date mushy and obviously romantic. Hence, it is essential that the place you will choose for your first date should be friendly and your attitude ought to be sufficiently light.

1. If it is someone you have never met before or perhaps someone you don’t know, a cheap-mid price range venue should be a perfect place for your first date. You can decide to walk into a coffee shop to start things up.

2. Make sure your date sits in a seat with the slightest distraction. This allows them to concentrate on you and prevents them from losing focus. Ladies will always choose the seat with the best view! They like to see what is going on around them but this is really diverting for both you and them. Help yourself out and be a gentleman by pulling out the chair for her. As crazy as it seems, it would be rude for her to decline. Your success rate will be increased if you can prevent her from getting distracted.

3. If you don’t know your date, it is advisable not to go out for dinner. There are so many wrong things attached to this, one of which is that the man will most likely insist on paying – which implies that he has invested both time and money. The big problem: most guys will want a return on their investment leading to so many bad choices and decisions.

4. Don’t be late, arrive on time! This is imperative for both parties but less important for ladies. Your punctuality will make a great first impression. Most times, the ladies are always late for the date. Despite the fact that this drives most men insane, it is just the way it is. Try not to worry yourself about it and don’t get angry with her about it! Just have a mindset during your first date that she may be about 25 minutes late, with the standard being around 10 minutes.

5. Another great first date idea is to meet at a location a far from your home address or hers. If they request for your home address politely say that you will meet them at the venue.

6. Guys will always say yes to anything especially if they are desperate! Try not to make yourself always available because women can notice your desperation miles away.

7. Schedule the date during the week! This is because weekends are too busy making it impossible to contend with other guys or ladies in the venue. A lady will likely decline your offer as a lot of them plan their weekends with their other female friends ahead of time.

8. Remember, safety is paramount! Do not give away your address if you have any atom of doubts about the person. Furthermore, if the date goes unexpected/badly, the last thing you need is for them to show up at your front door asking why you haven’t returned their calls.

Places to Visit on First Date

1. Visit a Museum

Invite her to a museum if she is the cultural type. These are often free and give an incredible way for you two to learn more about cultural tastes. A nautical museum or an art museum is worth a trial.

2. The Park

Another good venue for a first date with your partner is a park. Besides exercises, parks are incredible places especially for teenagers where you can date with your partner.

3. Visit a Mall

A mall is a place where you will know about each other’s interests as you will find lots of lots of extraordinary conversation starters. You can take a walk by visiting various stores and shops. Most malls have food courts that offer inexpensive and tasty fare. So ring her and invite her to the mall.

4. The Beach

If you stay in close to the coastal region then the best place is where you can date with your partner is the beach. At the beach, you can take a stroll with your partner or you can enjoy the moment in some beach shacks with your partner.

5. The Coffee Shop

For a brief and inexpensive first date, the first venue that should keep running on your mind is a coffee shop. A coffee shop is the modest place where you can meet your partner. It is a place where you sit together and enjoy nice moments with a cup of coffee with you two trying to know each other. This is a place where you won’t be disturbed by anybody not even the waiter. A coffee shop is the ideal place for you if your date falls during winter.

A public place is a neutral and perfect place to know your partner in ways like how they think, what they like and dislike, and their behavior. It is a recommended that you select a place where you too can speak freely.

Basic first date ideas should include a place that is quite happening yet not very close and cozy. On the other hand you should be equipped with first date conversations and first date etiquette.

Here A Web Site for the Heartbroken

Is romantic love a kind of addiction? A group of scientists seem to think so. And if it is, do other kinds of love — such as the kind that parents and grandparents feel — make the same physiological imprint on the human brain?

I found myself wondering about all this when reading a cute little Style section articleabout a web site for the heartbroken, which caught my eye the other day. I’ve been lucky in love — well, either lucky or unimaginative — and haven’t really suffered from devastating breakups too often. (Most of my intense heartbreaks were over teenage crushes; I married my college boyfriend when I was 19, and have stayed married to him for 43 generally happy, generally drama-free years.) But I know, mostly from watching friends and from reading novels, how devastating and all-consuming romantic breakups can be.

That’s where Mend comes in. It’s an online one-stop shop where the lovelorn can find professional help, a sympathetic ear, and a ready-made support group of other people in pretty much the same boat.

What really grabbed me in the article were the comments from Mend founder Ellen Huerta, who talked about a recent scientific study about the physical nature of heartache. A goodromantic relationship, Huerta said, is one in which all systems — especially hormonal and neurological systems — are buzzing in concert between the lovebirds, and severing that connection leads to a physical state not unlike withdrawal. The investigators (psychologists and neurologists from the Kinsey Institute and elsewhere) wrote about this in their abstract:

[R]esearchers have not categorized romantic love as a chemical or behavioral addiction. But by embracing data on romantic love, it’s [sic] classification as an evolved, natural, often positive but also powerfully negative addiction, and its neural similarity to many substance and non-substance addictive states, clinicians may develop more effective therapeutic approaches to alleviate a range of the addictions, including heartbreak — an almost universal human experience that can trigger stalking, clinical depression, suicide, homicide, and other crimes of passion.

This observation about the addictive nature of romantic love makes me wonder whether other good relationships, not only in romance but in families, might also lead to that wonderful buzz — and whether losing them, through death or divorce or just maybe the growing up of the child in question, might be something like withdrawal, too. That’s a question to ponder now: whether the head-over-heels feelings that come with being a parent, or a grandparent, can be traced to the same neurological changes seen in a person in the throes of other kinds of love